Does Fear Fear itself?
People often ask me, "Torio what are you afraid of? What raises the hairs on the back of your neck?" Now I understand it could be emotionally damaging to those of you that look up to me to know that I am afraid of something, but maybe you can learn something.
Am I afraid of nuclear war, death, spiders, the dark or even failure?
Nay.
Well, I'm kind of scared of spiders. I wouldn't say I fear for my well being when I'm around them but I definitely do that awkward "I'm freaked out that there's a spider on me somewhere" dance/shake when I feel one the back of my neck.
But I'll tell you what I'm really scared of. Public restrooms. Especially, gas station public restrooms. Not because they're dirty, unsanitary and altogether unwelcoming. No I respect that every gas station restroom has that same ambiance that says to me "You really sure you want to do this?" People don't go to gas station bathrooms because they kind of have to urinate. No if you're resulting to using the gas station bathroom, or the GSB as I have come to call it, then you're only doing it because it's become a dire necessity that you do so. But like I said, the fear is not in the uncleanliness, the fear comes from somewhere else. I should mention, that this might not be applicable in the cases of females, for I do not know how the female GSB experience works.
The real fear is during the actual act of the release. When you first enter the bathroom you're not afraid because you could easily make a break for the door should anything go wrong. But once you get going, which is going to be a solid 90 seconder because remember you really had to go, you're making yourself as vulnerable as you can get in the one place you don't want to be messed with. If some truck stop crazy barges in because he had been scoping you and what he calls your "pretty face" out from the diner across the way, you are screwed. If someone tries to mug you under normal circumstances, maybe you have super strength like me and can fight them off. But if you get mugged in the cavernous confines of the GSB while you're pissing, game over. I don't even know what I'd do, and that's what scares me. It would probably end up with me pissing on myself somehow. And this whole thing might sound gross and ridiculous, but next time you're on a road trip and you stop at that lonely chevron station by the freeway you'll get it. You'll start going and that's when the fear kicks in, and you'll want to be done going, but you've still got 7/8 of a full bladder to go so you better just buckle down and pray nobody jumps you, because no matter how hard you try you can't make it go faster. Trust me, I know.
Anywho, I think the department of homeland security should getting working on this. I don't wake up in the morning fearing that I'm going to be bombed by terrorists, but I do wake up everyday praying to God I'm not put into the position of having to use a GSB.
Back in ropo,
Torio
Am I afraid of nuclear war, death, spiders, the dark or even failure?
Nay.
Well, I'm kind of scared of spiders. I wouldn't say I fear for my well being when I'm around them but I definitely do that awkward "I'm freaked out that there's a spider on me somewhere" dance/shake when I feel one the back of my neck.
But I'll tell you what I'm really scared of. Public restrooms. Especially, gas station public restrooms. Not because they're dirty, unsanitary and altogether unwelcoming. No I respect that every gas station restroom has that same ambiance that says to me "You really sure you want to do this?" People don't go to gas station bathrooms because they kind of have to urinate. No if you're resulting to using the gas station bathroom, or the GSB as I have come to call it, then you're only doing it because it's become a dire necessity that you do so. But like I said, the fear is not in the uncleanliness, the fear comes from somewhere else. I should mention, that this might not be applicable in the cases of females, for I do not know how the female GSB experience works.
The real fear is during the actual act of the release. When you first enter the bathroom you're not afraid because you could easily make a break for the door should anything go wrong. But once you get going, which is going to be a solid 90 seconder because remember you really had to go, you're making yourself as vulnerable as you can get in the one place you don't want to be messed with. If some truck stop crazy barges in because he had been scoping you and what he calls your "pretty face" out from the diner across the way, you are screwed. If someone tries to mug you under normal circumstances, maybe you have super strength like me and can fight them off. But if you get mugged in the cavernous confines of the GSB while you're pissing, game over. I don't even know what I'd do, and that's what scares me. It would probably end up with me pissing on myself somehow. And this whole thing might sound gross and ridiculous, but next time you're on a road trip and you stop at that lonely chevron station by the freeway you'll get it. You'll start going and that's when the fear kicks in, and you'll want to be done going, but you've still got 7/8 of a full bladder to go so you better just buckle down and pray nobody jumps you, because no matter how hard you try you can't make it go faster. Trust me, I know.
Anywho, I think the department of homeland security should getting working on this. I don't wake up in the morning fearing that I'm going to be bombed by terrorists, but I do wake up everyday praying to God I'm not put into the position of having to use a GSB.
Back in ropo,
Torio
posted by Torio | 1:44 PM
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Fear fears Chuck Norris
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