Elections tomorrow

Tomorrow marks the first Iraqi election for actual people, when they vote for a four year parliament. Now, you're probably wondering who to vote for, but don't, because you're not allowed to vote. I know, I found it pretty outrageous myself. Who does George Bush think he his denying Americans the right to vote. It's too bad too cause I really wanted to vote for Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, the shiite cleric who doesn't take shiite from anybody.

Did you see what I did there? I exposed the fact that shiite is similar to the cuss word shit and then used it to make a joke.

You know who wouldn't find that joke funny?

Al-Sadr, the guy who was an American enemy just last year and now he's all "Oh I didn't know you were that America", and thinks it's chill for him to run for parliament. Well, I say nay to Al. Wait until the presidential elections dude, the parliament doesn't have any power. They're like the senate, and we all know senators are flip-flopping losers with neither a personality nor friends. But the president of Iraq, now that is power. You'll get to be the first person to know what George Bush is going to make you do. And we all know that knowing is half the battle (Thanks G.I. Joe). And knowing that knowing is half the battle is like 68% of the battle. And 68% is enough to override a presidential veto. You see where I'm going with this? I don't.

So I say to you, my fellow Americans, don't let the fact that you're not Iraqi prevent you from voting this Thursday. We took Iraq fair and square and if they're not going to let us pillage at least let us vote. And if you're not going to let us, whatever we'll do it anyway. Just show up to your polling station on Thursday and I'll have everything arranged. But in the event I don't have it arranged and your polling station is some dude's house, just go in and take one item of your choice, my treat.

Been teaching professors all week,
Torio