Australian Police Prevent Terrorist Attack
I think it is great that the Australians detained potential terrorists in Sydney and Melbourne on Monday. Australia is going too far terrorists. You can hate America, cause lets face it, we can be jerks at times. But Australians? the land down under is off limits dude. I haven't actually been to Australia, but I did see an Olsen twin movie once where they went to Australia, and based on that I think I can fairly say Australia is pretty neato. So stop.
Well now that I have solved Australia's terror problems, let me focus on a much more important problem. Many of you have been emailing me about the grammatical style in my blogs, someone even went as far to say that my writing style is "grossly off base with today's literary standards." Well you know what dude, you are way off base with what the Realm of Torioness is truly about, and that makes me sad. Well it doesn't really, cause I am incapable of sadness, but if I was capable of feeling the emotion of sadness, I'd probably start off with feeling sad for you. Getting back though to the topic of my gramatical style, I really don't see the problem with it. I use periods, I capitalize appropriate letters, and I'd have to say at least 98% of my words are spelled correctly. So why all the complaining? Seriously, no joke here, why are so many of you taking time out of your day to actually write me an e-mail about my grammar? Well, I pondered this question today as I sat down to a game of "Don't Break the Ice" with my buddies. And I came to the conclusion that some of you just don't understand how to use your down time properly. Reading this blog is a good start, but clearly you have way more down time that I thought. But fear not, I am here to help. From now on, instead of emailing me with your complaints, consider doing one of the following:
1. E-mail me some love mail. Feel free to copy and paste this: Torio, I love you.
2. Play a game of "Don't Break the Ice", remember to disregard the Ages 3 to 6 reccommendation.
3. Bake something delicious.
4. Mail your delicious baked goods to: 1721 East Cotati Ave. #2721 Rohnert Park, CA 94928
5. Start up a conversation with a stranger. Suavely drop into the conversation that you know me personally (regardless of wether you actually do or not). If they sound skeptical, drop that I am a big fan of that hair styling show on Bravo. They'll probably be pretty surprised and that should be a good talking point. (After you befriend him or her, be sure to clarify that I do not actually like that awful hair styling show)
6. Dial random numbers on your phone and tell people about this blog. If they are rude or hang up, call them 20-25 more times, screeching extrememly loudly when they answer. If they stop picking up, leave the screeching noises on their answering macine. If while dialing you get a hold of a guy named Doug Roytundra, write that number down and send it to me. Him and I have some beef to settle, but his number is unlisted.
If you do all that and you still don't have anything to do, go ahead and continue to send your mindless emails about grammar and other equally super exciting topics.
Scared of Danny Bonaduce,
Torio
Well now that I have solved Australia's terror problems, let me focus on a much more important problem. Many of you have been emailing me about the grammatical style in my blogs, someone even went as far to say that my writing style is "grossly off base with today's literary standards." Well you know what dude, you are way off base with what the Realm of Torioness is truly about, and that makes me sad. Well it doesn't really, cause I am incapable of sadness, but if I was capable of feeling the emotion of sadness, I'd probably start off with feeling sad for you. Getting back though to the topic of my gramatical style, I really don't see the problem with it. I use periods, I capitalize appropriate letters, and I'd have to say at least 98% of my words are spelled correctly. So why all the complaining? Seriously, no joke here, why are so many of you taking time out of your day to actually write me an e-mail about my grammar? Well, I pondered this question today as I sat down to a game of "Don't Break the Ice" with my buddies. And I came to the conclusion that some of you just don't understand how to use your down time properly. Reading this blog is a good start, but clearly you have way more down time that I thought. But fear not, I am here to help. From now on, instead of emailing me with your complaints, consider doing one of the following:
1. E-mail me some love mail. Feel free to copy and paste this: Torio, I love you.
2. Play a game of "Don't Break the Ice", remember to disregard the Ages 3 to 6 reccommendation.
3. Bake something delicious.
4. Mail your delicious baked goods to: 1721 East Cotati Ave. #2721 Rohnert Park, CA 94928
5. Start up a conversation with a stranger. Suavely drop into the conversation that you know me personally (regardless of wether you actually do or not). If they sound skeptical, drop that I am a big fan of that hair styling show on Bravo. They'll probably be pretty surprised and that should be a good talking point. (After you befriend him or her, be sure to clarify that I do not actually like that awful hair styling show)
6. Dial random numbers on your phone and tell people about this blog. If they are rude or hang up, call them 20-25 more times, screeching extrememly loudly when they answer. If they stop picking up, leave the screeching noises on their answering macine. If while dialing you get a hold of a guy named Doug Roytundra, write that number down and send it to me. Him and I have some beef to settle, but his number is unlisted.
If you do all that and you still don't have anything to do, go ahead and continue to send your mindless emails about grammar and other equally super exciting topics.
Scared of Danny Bonaduce,
Torio
posted by Torio | 10:36 PM
3 Comments:
First, please never change your writing style do not give into the man. Second, I also have a beef with Doug Roytundra, he owes me money and I intend to get it back! Third, Danny Bonaduce, scary. Lastly, I admit that "Don't Break the Ice" is an incredible game, but a rousing match of "Trouble" is equally intense.
PS "F" Rosa
I LOVE YOU TORIO
I LOVE LAMP
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