Bush Goes to Hemisphere Talks

You know who hates George Bush a lot? carnies. But also, Hugo Chavez. Which makes Bush's trip to the Hemisphere Talks, to speak with Latin American leaders including Chavez, an interesting one. I know what you're thinking. "Latin America? They're still around?" Oddly, yes they are still located south of us, and from what I've been reading they still think that they aren't our bitch. So cute they are. But boy are they in for a rude awakening. I, the raddest journalist you know, have gotten my hands on some mindblowing evidence that shows Bush is indeed going to go to war with Latin America. This is an actual note sheet made by Bush just a month before he took office in 2001. First I'd like to just notify everyone that I have already arranged for Captain Crunch to be put into a safe house, as I too was horrified to see his name on the list. As you can see, Afhganistan and Iraq(spelling mistakes aside) were the first to be targeted by Bush, and for those of you who don't keep up with current events, they've already gone down (hence why they've been crossed out). Now, Latin America seemed to be far enough down on the list that it could avoid a war with the Bush administration if it just held out long enough. Kind of when you were in high school and you just sat there watching the clock, hoping the bell would ring before you got called to do your presentation. But then Hugo Chavez had to open his Venezuelan, Bush hating mouth. And whammy, as you see in the note sheet the arrow has moved them from 6th to 3rd aka NEXT. The many anti-American rallies, including one in which Chavez will speak at, being held in Argentina this weekend will only be further asking for Bush to kick their ass. And if the Super Sword of Power (located on the right side of the above note sheet) is ready for action, I wouldn't give them much of a chance.

Now some of you might not have the burning hatred for Latin America like you do for the Middle East. But you must remember, only recently was Latin America moved up to third on the list. So give the Bush administration and the elite-owned media some time to drive home the fact that you do indeed "justifably" hate Latin America. Plus Venezuela has oil, and unless we get mass amounts of oil soon, "The OC" and "CSI" will be cancelled.

There is some good news for Latin America however. Bush wont go to war with you while he's still in the region, so be sure to live it up this weekend.

Maintaining my full allegiance to Captain Crunch,
Torio