Bush Tells China to Grant More Freedoms
Listen George, if you want to pick on Iraq or whatever other small country that has oil, fine. But, I don't care how badass you think you are, you don't bully around China. This spread of democracy campaign that you have used to be the cover of whatever your real foreign policy agenda is needs to stop at the borders of countries that have over a billion people and nuclear weapon capabilities.
Some of you might be asking, "But Torio, are you not an advocate of individual freedoms and democracy?"
Yes, I am, I very much so am. But lets play to Bush's strengths, not his weaknesses. If bombing, manhandling, conquering, or de-gayifying were the course of actions we wanted to take with China, Bush would be the man. However, China is a country with an enormous populace, military and to be quite honest, it looks as though their economy is headed in a better direction than ours at this point. We might be the most powerful nation, but we're not nearly as intense as these people, they know jiu-jitsu. Plus they have a really large wall, and I don't know about you but I have difficulty scaling walls. Probably cause I don't know jiu-jitsu or kung-fu. You might think what's the big deal if Bush just pressures them a bit to instill more personal freedoms on their people. Well, this is the big deal. Bush is one stubborn dude, something like this may go down:
Bush: "Let your people have more individual freedoms."
Head China Dude: "Nah, we're good."
Bush: "Come on man."
Head China Dude: "No seriously, we are fine. Now do you want chow-mein or fried rice?"
Bush: "Fried rice."
Head China Dude: "Good choice."
Bush: "So wait, you are going to give your people more freedom, or no?"
Head China Dude: "No."
Bush: "Ah screw this, bomb them."
And there you have it, full fledged war with the biggest military on Earth all because we let Bush open his audacious mouth in China. Hopefully David Carradine is available to fight, cause that guy is really our only chance on the kung-fu front... I saw Kung-fu, he was awesome. Another fear of Bush going to China, is that if he sees that wall they think is so great, he'll probably want to build an even greater wall, and I just don't have the time for that.
Big fan of the Orange Chicken,
Torio
Some of you might be asking, "But Torio, are you not an advocate of individual freedoms and democracy?"
Yes, I am, I very much so am. But lets play to Bush's strengths, not his weaknesses. If bombing, manhandling, conquering, or de-gayifying were the course of actions we wanted to take with China, Bush would be the man. However, China is a country with an enormous populace, military and to be quite honest, it looks as though their economy is headed in a better direction than ours at this point. We might be the most powerful nation, but we're not nearly as intense as these people, they know jiu-jitsu. Plus they have a really large wall, and I don't know about you but I have difficulty scaling walls. Probably cause I don't know jiu-jitsu or kung-fu. You might think what's the big deal if Bush just pressures them a bit to instill more personal freedoms on their people. Well, this is the big deal. Bush is one stubborn dude, something like this may go down:
Bush: "Let your people have more individual freedoms."
Head China Dude: "Nah, we're good."
Bush: "Come on man."
Head China Dude: "No seriously, we are fine. Now do you want chow-mein or fried rice?"
Bush: "Fried rice."
Head China Dude: "Good choice."
Bush: "So wait, you are going to give your people more freedom, or no?"
Head China Dude: "No."
Bush: "Ah screw this, bomb them."
And there you have it, full fledged war with the biggest military on Earth all because we let Bush open his audacious mouth in China. Hopefully David Carradine is available to fight, cause that guy is really our only chance on the kung-fu front... I saw Kung-fu, he was awesome. Another fear of Bush going to China, is that if he sees that wall they think is so great, he'll probably want to build an even greater wall, and I just don't have the time for that.
Big fan of the Orange Chicken,
Torio
posted by Torio | 11:03 PM
1 Comments:
I'm not sure you have thought this out... Mr. Bush is trying to unleash over 1 Billion Chinamen so that they have the right to, dare I say privilege to, enjoy your Realm! Imagine all the people clicking on your blog.
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