Lets Open This Up to Some Q & A
Many of you have been emailing me asking for advice with your problems. Generally, I don't give one on one advice, but I figured I'd address some of the questions you've been asking here on the blog so that everyone can see the weird shit you send me.
"... Anyways, I was wondering if you could help me out with something. After reading your post on Gina de Laurentis, it got me wondering about my own personal love life. How exactly can I improve my luck with the ladies?"
First off buddy, it's Giada de Laurentiis, and don't you ever make that mistake again. To answer your question, let me start by saying love is a tricky thing. Sometimes you might go to Bath and Body Works to smell the many delicious fragrances of soap they have to offer, and in doing so think you've found your soulmate in the charismatic sales lady. But, this is rarely the case beause even though you might think you're connecting on a deep level over a bottle of cucumber-melon hand cream, the next minute she's putting a restraining order on you. Personally I think if a girl says let's hang out sometime, that can mean wait for me to get off work then follow me home, I guess I'm old fashion though. Getting back to your particular problem of gaining more luck with the ladies, I dunno dude, try losing some weight.
"Why don't you put more pictures on the blog?"
Because that wouldn't be very fair to our blind readers now would it you insensitive prick.
"This is kind of a complicated question, but here goes. The other day when I was leaving for work my wife said to me 'Have a nice day, I know I will.' At first I didn't think anything of it, but then at lunch I was talking to a co-worker/buddy of mine who reminded me that his wife had referred a guy to do redo our bathroom and today was the day he was coming. So I got back to thinking of that comment she made, 'I know I will.' What does that mean? Do you think my wife is fooling around with the bathroom guy, or maybe does she just have a real passion for bathroom renovation? Well that night when I got home the bathroom had already anything done to it, and she said that the guy had been there for six hours. At first I didn't say anything cause I was eating dinner, but she just kept talking about this guy. So I brought it up and we argued for a while, but then Whose line is it anyway? came on and I completely forgot my wife even existed. Should I bring it back up?"
No idea.
"Torio, do you do private parties?"
Yes, but no nudity, and I charge a lot. And I'm not talking currency either, for legal reasons I cannot refer to what exactly it is I charge, but get in touch with my booking agent Alf and we can try to work something out.
"I have trouble staying updated and interested in current events and politics. I genuinely want to be an educated, well-to-do citizen, but how can I find both the motivation and time to do so?"
Nice try you terrorist.
Here are some answers to some of your other questions:
Ceaser Salad
6
Buffalo Bills
Half cheese, half pepperoni
Hens can't lay eggs
Not you, but maybe your sister
Being cool about fire safety,
Torio
"... Anyways, I was wondering if you could help me out with something. After reading your post on Gina de Laurentis, it got me wondering about my own personal love life. How exactly can I improve my luck with the ladies?"
First off buddy, it's Giada de Laurentiis, and don't you ever make that mistake again. To answer your question, let me start by saying love is a tricky thing. Sometimes you might go to Bath and Body Works to smell the many delicious fragrances of soap they have to offer, and in doing so think you've found your soulmate in the charismatic sales lady. But, this is rarely the case beause even though you might think you're connecting on a deep level over a bottle of cucumber-melon hand cream, the next minute she's putting a restraining order on you. Personally I think if a girl says let's hang out sometime, that can mean wait for me to get off work then follow me home, I guess I'm old fashion though. Getting back to your particular problem of gaining more luck with the ladies, I dunno dude, try losing some weight.
"Why don't you put more pictures on the blog?"
Because that wouldn't be very fair to our blind readers now would it you insensitive prick.
"This is kind of a complicated question, but here goes. The other day when I was leaving for work my wife said to me 'Have a nice day, I know I will.' At first I didn't think anything of it, but then at lunch I was talking to a co-worker/buddy of mine who reminded me that his wife had referred a guy to do redo our bathroom and today was the day he was coming. So I got back to thinking of that comment she made, 'I know I will.' What does that mean? Do you think my wife is fooling around with the bathroom guy, or maybe does she just have a real passion for bathroom renovation? Well that night when I got home the bathroom had already anything done to it, and she said that the guy had been there for six hours. At first I didn't say anything cause I was eating dinner, but she just kept talking about this guy. So I brought it up and we argued for a while, but then Whose line is it anyway? came on and I completely forgot my wife even existed. Should I bring it back up?"
No idea.
"Torio, do you do private parties?"
Yes, but no nudity, and I charge a lot. And I'm not talking currency either, for legal reasons I cannot refer to what exactly it is I charge, but get in touch with my booking agent Alf and we can try to work something out.
"I have trouble staying updated and interested in current events and politics. I genuinely want to be an educated, well-to-do citizen, but how can I find both the motivation and time to do so?"
Nice try you terrorist.
Here are some answers to some of your other questions:
Ceaser Salad
6
Buffalo Bills
Half cheese, half pepperoni
Hens can't lay eggs
Not you, but maybe your sister
Being cool about fire safety,
Torio
posted by Torio | 11:57 PM
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