Entering the Pitt of Parenthood
Brad Pitt announced that he is currently in the process of becoming the adoptive father of Angelina Jolie's children. Big mistake. That's something you do if you're trying to hook up with Angelina, dude. But you're already there, so why unnecessarily throw that baggage into your overhead compartment? All that can come of this is you getting stuck with some kids that are most likely insane because they were raised by the equally insane Jolie, not to mention any craziness Billy Bob Thornton had time to inflict on them.
But hey, I'm not going to sit here and feel sorry for Brad Pitt, and I'm not going to bash on Angelina Jolie anymore either. I think it's great that Angelina is so committed to saving the world that she is willing to sleep with Brad Pitt in order to get him to save the world as well. Is it a coincidence that Brad Pitt became the spokesman for the "One" campaign right after the filming of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"? I say nay, that was the work of some great humanitarian work done by one kick ass Tomb Raider.
You see it's like a trickle down effect. Angelina uses her super hotness to get Brad Pitt to save the world. Matt Damon, who wants to be just like Brad Pitt, in turn also joins the "One" campaign. Plus the many ladies who want to be with Brad Pitt, along with the many dudes who want to be him begin thinking with some weird twisted logic that saving the world might make them super hot and popular as well. Well it doesn't. At best your karma level jumps up a few notches, only to fall right back down the next time take the long way around the block just to avoid that homeless guy who does that weird wink/twitch thing.
Well you know what Angelina Jolie, your tricks aren't working on me. I'm not falling for some subliminal message celebrity mind control. If you want me to continue saving the world with this blog, or even up my saving the world work you're going to need to do more than that. You can start with dumping Brad, you've already dumped the kids on him, so leave them as well. And then we can go out next Friday night. Maybe we can go save some injured animals or something like that, I dunno I haven't really thought this out that far yet. Something fun but also "earthy".
Until this happens, however, let it be known that I will be limiting how much I save the world. For instance, beginning tomorrow I am cutting off Tarbash, the Indian kid that I have been sponsoring, from financial assistance. You do want Tarbash to get vitamins and food, don't you Angelina? I'm also going to increase my littering tenfold until I receive a call from you. I, as well as both Tarbash and our environment, are looking forward to your call.
Happy that Garlic, Cheese and Bread found each other,
Torio
I'm currently in the process of making the 2006 edition of the Torio calendar. If you're interested it's going to cost $20 a pop. A couple people still want a copy of the 2005 version, and I think I can make some more of those if you want them just for kicks. If you're interested send me an email(not a comment on the blog), I'm hoping to have them done before the new year, but it may take me a week or two into the new year cause I have a little thing called finals coming up.
But hey, I'm not going to sit here and feel sorry for Brad Pitt, and I'm not going to bash on Angelina Jolie anymore either. I think it's great that Angelina is so committed to saving the world that she is willing to sleep with Brad Pitt in order to get him to save the world as well. Is it a coincidence that Brad Pitt became the spokesman for the "One" campaign right after the filming of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"? I say nay, that was the work of some great humanitarian work done by one kick ass Tomb Raider.
You see it's like a trickle down effect. Angelina uses her super hotness to get Brad Pitt to save the world. Matt Damon, who wants to be just like Brad Pitt, in turn also joins the "One" campaign. Plus the many ladies who want to be with Brad Pitt, along with the many dudes who want to be him begin thinking with some weird twisted logic that saving the world might make them super hot and popular as well. Well it doesn't. At best your karma level jumps up a few notches, only to fall right back down the next time take the long way around the block just to avoid that homeless guy who does that weird wink/twitch thing.
Well you know what Angelina Jolie, your tricks aren't working on me. I'm not falling for some subliminal message celebrity mind control. If you want me to continue saving the world with this blog, or even up my saving the world work you're going to need to do more than that. You can start with dumping Brad, you've already dumped the kids on him, so leave them as well. And then we can go out next Friday night. Maybe we can go save some injured animals or something like that, I dunno I haven't really thought this out that far yet. Something fun but also "earthy".
Until this happens, however, let it be known that I will be limiting how much I save the world. For instance, beginning tomorrow I am cutting off Tarbash, the Indian kid that I have been sponsoring, from financial assistance. You do want Tarbash to get vitamins and food, don't you Angelina? I'm also going to increase my littering tenfold until I receive a call from you. I, as well as both Tarbash and our environment, are looking forward to your call.
Happy that Garlic, Cheese and Bread found each other,
Torio
I'm currently in the process of making the 2006 edition of the Torio calendar. If you're interested it's going to cost $20 a pop. A couple people still want a copy of the 2005 version, and I think I can make some more of those if you want them just for kicks. If you're interested send me an email(not a comment on the blog), I'm hoping to have them done before the new year, but it may take me a week or two into the new year cause I have a little thing called finals coming up.
posted by Torio | 1:15 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home