Saddam Says He's Over Trial
Saddam Hussein is currently underway with his trial for his alleged crimes against humanity. You know even though Saddam Hussein is a jerk, at least he backs up his jerkiness with a real jerky attitude. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Saddam Hussein is a consistent jerk. He "stays the course" with his jerkiness if you will. Anywho, his current jerky move is that he is threatening to boycott his own trial because he says they're not being fair.
Apparently this all started when one of the witnesses went into a detailed account of when Saddam Hussein ruthlessly killed 148 Shia Muslims. Yeah, I guess I have to agree that it's pretty unfair when some dude gets up there and says I saw you kill 148 people. For example, one time I "borrowed" some Dunkaroos from this kid at lunchtime, so he told the teach. I played it cool though, cause this aint no thang, I'm Torio. But then this dick, his name was Luke, told the teacher that he saw me take the Dunkaroos. Not cool dude. This is just another example of how it's not fair when someone tells the truth about something illegal you did.
Oh god how good those Dunkaroos were though.
Okay, so now that we've cleared up that it's not fair when someone catches you being a genocidal murderer, lets take a gander at how the rest of these events went down. First the guy told everyone how Saddam killed the people. Then the judge said lets take a break until Wednesday and we will hear from two more witnesses. To which Saddam said go to hell, I'm not going to come back here and listen to more people talk about what I did back in the day. Wise up and stop living in the past.
That was a paraphrased dialogue of what happened but the "go to hell" part was actually said(see he's keeping up that jerky attitude). He also said, "How come you remember all these things?" to one of the witnesses. Oh Saddam, you so crazy. Now I don't really want to give Saddam advice, cause I'm hoping he gets what's coming to him, but after someone accuses you of murder, it's probably not the best idea to drop "Oh you remember that? That was years ago, I thought everyone had forgotten."
But I have to say, the I'm taking my ball and going home approach isn't really going to be helpful for ole' Saddammy. This is because America wants to kill you. And lets face it we may be a lazy country, but once we set our mind on blowing up, conquering or executing something or someone we pretty much follow through with it. Fair is pretty relative in the American eye. Was it fair when Al Gore lost the 2000 election? no. Was it fair when Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe? oh god no, but it happened, and as Americans we kinda cared, but not really. So you can imagine when something unfair happens to someone we despise that we don't care so much it makes us hungry. And the only thing that is going to cure that hunger is Saddam getting his, that or more cowbell.
I put my pants on one leg at a time,
Torio
Apparently this all started when one of the witnesses went into a detailed account of when Saddam Hussein ruthlessly killed 148 Shia Muslims. Yeah, I guess I have to agree that it's pretty unfair when some dude gets up there and says I saw you kill 148 people. For example, one time I "borrowed" some Dunkaroos from this kid at lunchtime, so he told the teach. I played it cool though, cause this aint no thang, I'm Torio. But then this dick, his name was Luke, told the teacher that he saw me take the Dunkaroos. Not cool dude. This is just another example of how it's not fair when someone tells the truth about something illegal you did.
Oh god how good those Dunkaroos were though.
Okay, so now that we've cleared up that it's not fair when someone catches you being a genocidal murderer, lets take a gander at how the rest of these events went down. First the guy told everyone how Saddam killed the people. Then the judge said lets take a break until Wednesday and we will hear from two more witnesses. To which Saddam said go to hell, I'm not going to come back here and listen to more people talk about what I did back in the day. Wise up and stop living in the past.
That was a paraphrased dialogue of what happened but the "go to hell" part was actually said(see he's keeping up that jerky attitude). He also said, "How come you remember all these things?" to one of the witnesses. Oh Saddam, you so crazy. Now I don't really want to give Saddam advice, cause I'm hoping he gets what's coming to him, but after someone accuses you of murder, it's probably not the best idea to drop "Oh you remember that? That was years ago, I thought everyone had forgotten."
But I have to say, the I'm taking my ball and going home approach isn't really going to be helpful for ole' Saddammy. This is because America wants to kill you. And lets face it we may be a lazy country, but once we set our mind on blowing up, conquering or executing something or someone we pretty much follow through with it. Fair is pretty relative in the American eye. Was it fair when Al Gore lost the 2000 election? no. Was it fair when Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe? oh god no, but it happened, and as Americans we kinda cared, but not really. So you can imagine when something unfair happens to someone we despise that we don't care so much it makes us hungry. And the only thing that is going to cure that hunger is Saddam getting his, that or more cowbell.
I put my pants on one leg at a time,
Torio
posted by Torio | 11:40 PM
2 Comments:
gotta have more cowbell Saddam!
-Bruce Johnston
i totally get the cowbell and could not agree more!
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